Should I stay or go? Convince me either way.
Posted: Mon Jul 01, 2019 9:42 am
I would be grateful if anyone could suggest a means to improve my experience of FM. I feel exceptionally disillusioned with freemasonry and considering leaving. However I do not know whether it is simply a bad experience and to persevere or if this is the case for Masonry as a whole. To give some background.
I am early 30s, a FC and have been within the fraternity for approx 2 years. Progression to MM this year.
My lodge demographic is heavily over 65. With the nearest to my age/ shared interests being 2-3 brethren aged 40-50.
Lodge members seek zero contact outside of the lodge. Initially I attended every LOI/R in good spirit of furthering Masonic knowledge and to better know brethren despite the vast age gaps and obvious difference is outside interests. Only 4 other members ever attended from a lodge of 35 members.
The young masons club for my province (joined to meet others like me) are “young” masons are generally 45+ and activities are geared towards that age group - poker night, debate team, brewery tours, or what amounts to drink up events away from/ sometimes with the wife. Not quite the sponsored skydiving, monument visiting, outdoor hiking excitement or the betterment that is advertised.
I joined another young masons club next to my province with younger demographic (all under 35) however the casual monthly social events are not so casual for me as they are quite a struggle to get to and from (due to living and working in my home province, 1.5 hour travel distance for a small amount of time such as after work beers is not really viable especially as I’m teetotal.) major events I am more likely to attend as it warrants the travel, however it is hard to build connections and friendships when there is not a regular rapport.
I have done a few visits to other lodges within my province with members of my Lodge, however only a few as generally lodge meeting times are not too friendly for 9-5 workers e.g start at 4.30. There is still usually a huge age gap and a struggle to find similar experiences.
For comparison, I am also in the TA and feel all that Masonry over promised and under delivered, is fulfilled there. Without constant bombardment from the management pushing for donations into a festival fund which is the sole overriding concern of our province - with little explanation to the newly initiated EA as to what charities we are supporting and why. I regularly take part in fundraisers with the TA and always happy to do so. They also run other team events which I gladly take part in.
Overall every piece of Masonic Education regarding symbolism and development has been self taught from a number of books or the new Solomon site. Despite being willing to become a better person and hunger for learning this is not on the agenda for my province.
If I was to sum up Freemasonry based on my experience, I would say it is an organisation that has an aged membership with some members confusing brotherly relief with self interest. Self interest in 1) rising up a hierarchy for status 2) one older brethren told me that most members stick around knowing they are soon to request assistance from the charity themselves.
I would suggest an equivalent amount of charitable activity and fellowship could be sought at a charity quiz/ disco night in a local public house and self development from a self help audio.
So is it something that I am doing wrong? My local centres or the fraternity as a whole? What would your recommendations be to improve my experience and stay within the fraternity or would it be best to cut my losses?
I will disclaim that this may not be the case for freemasonry as a whole and based entirely on my own opinions and experiences.
I am early 30s, a FC and have been within the fraternity for approx 2 years. Progression to MM this year.
My lodge demographic is heavily over 65. With the nearest to my age/ shared interests being 2-3 brethren aged 40-50.
Lodge members seek zero contact outside of the lodge. Initially I attended every LOI/R in good spirit of furthering Masonic knowledge and to better know brethren despite the vast age gaps and obvious difference is outside interests. Only 4 other members ever attended from a lodge of 35 members.
The young masons club for my province (joined to meet others like me) are “young” masons are generally 45+ and activities are geared towards that age group - poker night, debate team, brewery tours, or what amounts to drink up events away from/ sometimes with the wife. Not quite the sponsored skydiving, monument visiting, outdoor hiking excitement or the betterment that is advertised.
I joined another young masons club next to my province with younger demographic (all under 35) however the casual monthly social events are not so casual for me as they are quite a struggle to get to and from (due to living and working in my home province, 1.5 hour travel distance for a small amount of time such as after work beers is not really viable especially as I’m teetotal.) major events I am more likely to attend as it warrants the travel, however it is hard to build connections and friendships when there is not a regular rapport.
I have done a few visits to other lodges within my province with members of my Lodge, however only a few as generally lodge meeting times are not too friendly for 9-5 workers e.g start at 4.30. There is still usually a huge age gap and a struggle to find similar experiences.
For comparison, I am also in the TA and feel all that Masonry over promised and under delivered, is fulfilled there. Without constant bombardment from the management pushing for donations into a festival fund which is the sole overriding concern of our province - with little explanation to the newly initiated EA as to what charities we are supporting and why. I regularly take part in fundraisers with the TA and always happy to do so. They also run other team events which I gladly take part in.
Overall every piece of Masonic Education regarding symbolism and development has been self taught from a number of books or the new Solomon site. Despite being willing to become a better person and hunger for learning this is not on the agenda for my province.
If I was to sum up Freemasonry based on my experience, I would say it is an organisation that has an aged membership with some members confusing brotherly relief with self interest. Self interest in 1) rising up a hierarchy for status 2) one older brethren told me that most members stick around knowing they are soon to request assistance from the charity themselves.
I would suggest an equivalent amount of charitable activity and fellowship could be sought at a charity quiz/ disco night in a local public house and self development from a self help audio.
So is it something that I am doing wrong? My local centres or the fraternity as a whole? What would your recommendations be to improve my experience and stay within the fraternity or would it be best to cut my losses?
I will disclaim that this may not be the case for freemasonry as a whole and based entirely on my own opinions and experiences.